Mere Existence

Have you ever been abandon? Or perhaps you abandon someone?

I've always seen in dramas or movies with a scene between family members where either the parent disowned their child or the other way around and I always got teary eyed but I have never understood the feeling >its just their acting is sooo good..<

Until recently... Oh no, its not like my parent disowned me but something similar

After I quit my last job, I worked with my aunties on family business but 1 of my aunt >N< is so fucking retard. To sum it all up - I just couldn't hold it in any longer since she started attacking my mother at me almost everyday. I can tolerate being scolded at but don't mess with my family. I don't care if you hate my mama but she IS my mama, no matter how she is my mama who work her ass off and struggling to raise my big bro and me alone.

So we end not talking to each other for more than a month now. I'm not going to lie, seeing her face and hearing her voice everyday at workplace from 8.00am - 9.15pm is really stressful!

In my mind now, she is no longer my aunt. I shall forget her entirely and never in my life I have an aunt with the name >N<. Honestly it doesn't feel right but now I know what is the feeling to just ignore someone existence and being ignored back. Hehehe...  

Well yesterday was Hari Raya Aidiladha and me and my mama went back to my other house in Kepong just to get away from the her. I was thinking to get a new job.

Hm.. I don't know what or how or anything I can actually do to fix this but if let say we are back on normal terms, I really think she going to start the same routine again over and over because this is not the first time. I endure everything last time but I have a limit to how much I can take and tolerate with her attitude.

Haish......

*Little Lies - Am I trying too hard or I think too much?